Superstitions, Rituals and Bargains with God: Part 1 of 2

Superstitions Row 1

 

Years of sun damage have finally caught up to me and I never seem to make it out of the dermatologist’s office without some bad news.

 

Superstitions Row 2

Superstitions Row 3

 

Using the lucky mug to influence my fortunes is just one of many superstitions and rituals I’ve adopted on and off since I was a child.

 

When we were growing up, my sisters and I were convinced our family was cursed and attributed all childhood misfortune to it.

 

Superstitions Row 4

 

After I was married, I marveled at how extraordinarily lucky (my now ex-) husband was. No matter how illegal, crazy or careless his actions,

 

Superstitions Row 5

Superstitions Row 6

 

Most of us aren’t so lucky. For those of us born without “the lucky horseshoe”, there are superstitions, rituals and bargains with God. I started early.

 

Superstitions Row 7

 

As my childhood passed, lucky talismans and superstitions came and went.

 

Superstitions Row 8

 

When I was 13, I struck my first bargain with God.

 

We were invited up to a neighbor’s lake cabin for a day of swimming and boating. I couldn’t wait to try water skiing, but as the day approached I became worried and nervous. My sole athletic accomplishment to date had been passing Beginner Swimming at the local pool.

 

Superstitions Row 9

Superstitions Row 10

 

As we drove home that night, I knew it was time to make the first payment of the 25,550 (approximate) lifetime rosaries promised. I started praying… and promptly fell asleep.

 

Superstitions Row 11

 

I made a good effort the first week, but fell asleep every time I started praying. I told myself I’d say two rosaries a day to make up for the missed payments. I eventually re-negotiated the entire deal, telling God that giving up TV for Lent that year covered Lent plus the rosary obligation. It was delusional, but I didn’t think it was a good idea to leave a contract WITH GOD hanging without resolution. (That’s just the solid kind of businesswoman I am.)

 

Tomorrow: Adulthood Size Superstitions, Rituals and Bargains with God

 

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5 thoughts on “Superstitions, Rituals and Bargains with God: Part 1 of 2

  1. Too funny. I also suffer the Ganey curse and have been attacked with liquid nitrogen. As for your unSaid rosaries……remember “spiritual Bouquets”?
    I am guessing there are many still-waiting promises there, too. Can’t wait for Part 2!

  2. I was thrilled to see you waterskiing success! i wasn’t so fortunate. Glad to see your blog and cartoons! THANKS

  3. Hilarious and revealing. What I realized is that each time I read your posts, not only do I learn a bit more about you, but also myself as well. Keep posting, I love it.

  4. I can’t believe I missed so many great stories ! I’m caught up and look forward to many more. I also am learning things about you I never knew. Your art ability and story telling are phenomenal!

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