Bob likes to remind me of how cooperative I used to be when we first started dating. He claims it’s a mystery to all men why the sweet, agreeable woman they start out with changes over time to…well…someone less sweet and agreeable.
I don’t disagree I am less cooperative, but I disagree it is a mystery. I think all relationships evolve in stages and ours has been no different.
It wasn’t long before things went awry.
The truth is that Cooperative Girlfriend is doomed. She exists only in the beginning of a relationship because it is the only time there is no evidence to suggest Infallible Boyfriend could ever be wrong or limited in his ability to read her mind.
As time goes on, evidence builds. Infallible Boyfriend develops a track record of being Human.
Cooperative Girlfriend becomes Doubtful Girlfriend.
Soon, the evidence can no longer be ignored.
Doubtful Girlfriend becomes Skeptical Girlfriend. At this stage, she cannot tell the difference between Infallible Boyfriend and Human Boyfriend. Therefore, everything must be questioned.
With time and experience, Skeptical Girlfriend becomes Pragmatic Girlfriend and deals with reality. She accepts that her boyfriend is Human, can’t read her mind and doesn’t have perfect knowledge of all earthly matters. She adjusts her expectations and takes responsibility for her own happiness.
Everyone misses Cooperative Girlfriend, especially Bob.
I tell him he’ll be happier without her, that a more reality based relationship will be healthier for both of us.
It’s a hard sell, but in time, I hope he’ll forget all about her and go on to be very happy with Pragmatic Girlfriend.